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The latest mental health visit |
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. I had that appointment on Monday 4th August and was immediately asked if I was suicidal. I categorically said NO trying to explain the last ten years. The 80 minute appointment seemed to revolve around their insistence I was suicidal, my strong denial and my increasing anger and frustration. I left with the thoughts of suicide firmly implanted in my brain. It is almost as if they WANT me to attempt suicide because over the last 10 years that is ALL the ****ing NHS seem to talk about. My left arm went cold and tingly. My left chest feels odd as I write. So the NHS say I have no heart disease and am suicidal. I say I will soon have a stress related heart attack BUT am NOT or ever have been suicidal. Still no available treatment or explanation either way. I was told that they will write to my GP explaining my worry about my heart condition and the FACT I have NO PULSE in EITHER ARM. Ignoring the stress I am under from initially loosing my career and then the stress involved as I try to get answers BUT keep being asked if I have ever thought of committing suicide. Thanks to the misdiagnosis in 1998 that I was a high risk suicide I am now effectively stopped from having ANY treatment in the NHS. Why don't people listen to me? Is it any wonder that I have NO faith whatsoever that the NHS is there to help me heal? In fact I am very very frightened of NHS staff now because of the way they have been able to casually patronise, ignore me and then mislabel me because I kept on asking for very reasonable treatment. I feel like I’m living in a 1984/Animal Farm world. |